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Joke of the Day

"What do you call white on the top and black at the bottom? Society."

"Difference between a cow and Russia They both contain Putin..."

"Really, every section of the greeting card aisle could be called ""Societal Obligation."""

"What do you call a person who never passes gas in public? A *private tutor*"

"Cheesy joke What did the big cheese round say to the baby cheese round? Getting older isn't going to make you the big cheese."

"The vast majority of spider couples met on the web."

"""We need to talk"" *stop, drops and rolls *Army crawls out of the room"

"Me: *Buys nutribullet* will this baby take down a vegan? Cashier: No, it's not an actual bu... Me: *loads nutrigun* Cashier: What the heck?"

"My kid said he was gonna jump off the roof using a blanket as a parachute and I was like ""That won't work you idiot. Go get my umbrella""."

"On my first day of college my dad's only advice was ""don't date any of your teachers!"" Yeah right dad, everyone knows teachers are poor."