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Joke of the Day

"What does a sheep, a drum, and a snake all say when falling off of a cliff? Baa-Dum-Sss"

"My stepdaughter said the Justin Bieber movie is rated R because people will faint when they see him. I stabbed her with my car keys."

"Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster? A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans."

"He died doing what he loved...failing to read my mind."

"I use artificial sweetener at work. I add it to everything I say to my boss."

"Why was the cop absent from work? He had swine flu"

"In honor of the Million Muslim March... What do you get when you add a million lesbians to the Million Man March? Two million people that don't do dick."

"Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!"

"What did the Mexican say when a gust of wind blew his homework out the window? Come back essay!"

"I heard Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their door"