90144

Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a little while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick."

"83 yo man, ""You speak pretty good English for a Chinese girl"". Me: ""I'm caucasian"". Him, ""Well, any kind of Asian looks Chinese to me""."

"I was 3 yrs old when my mom was diagnosed with my brother."

"If you arrive home, it's not a holiday, and your driveway is full of family member's cars, keep going.......It's an intervention"

"NSFW Your dick's like Mt. Everest. .. It's hard to get up."

"I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem."

"I'm not saying I've let my house get filthy, but this is the second time I've caught my new Roomba trying to mail itself back to the factory"

"Allow me to sum up the 90's for you. 90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99=945"

"I have a hardcore yeast affection. I love breads and doughs."

"Funny teacher responses to ""Can I go to the bathroom?"" Forget the classic ""I don't know, can you?"""