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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying I've let my house get filthy, but this is the second time I've caught my new Roomba trying to mail itself back to the factory"

"Did you know, some bees can produce milk? They're called boo-bees."

"$10 says some idiot is gonna hear the word Ebola and think ""that'd be a great name for my new baby!"""

"Three Men Walk Into A Bar The bartender then says... ""How'd you guys get in here?"""

"Waiter waiter! There's a wasp in my dessert. So that's where they go to in the winter."

"Did you hear about that party at Thor's? No, I guess you wouldn't have; he kept it pretty Loki."

"My mom: The liberals in California are rubbing off on you. Me: I know, it keeps getting in my hair. (silence)"

"""Dad, why couldn't the doctors save grandpa's life? ""Doesn't matter son, he would have suffocated in the coffin"""

"My teacher told me my drawing was pretty good, I told her I know. My mom always told me I was borderline artistic."

"Heard this one at the bar last night: Women are good for 70 things... Making sandwiches and 69."