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Joke of the Day

"What did Ronda Rousey's face look like after her fight with Holly Holm? It was all broused up!"

"Abortions are so fun... ...they really bring out the kid in you"

"Taylor Swift's next album is going to be another break-up album. It will be about her split with Spotify."

"My mother told me if I dislike someine, I'd have to walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they tried to get me, I'd be a mile away and they'd have no shoes."

"Have you heard about Corduroy pillows? They are putting lines in your face!"

"The good news is, I blocked the creepy guy. The bad news is, I'm tweeting this from inside his trunk."

"Test boast, please ignore. I just hacked my friend's reddit account."

"The best part of having a beard is that it covers up like 40% of my terrible face"

"I wish I had the balls to be a juggler."

"I dont pretend to be anything I'm not.. Except for sober I've pretended to be sober a few times"