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Joke of the Day

"My wife is gorgeous, selfless, amazing, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type."

"I love my FedEx guy cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it and he's always on time."

"[Offensive] Adolf visits the concentration camp and asks a young boy how old he is ""I'll be 6 soon!"" ""Nope"""

"What did Adam say when he broke up with Eve? I'm turning over a new leaf."

"I should become a bomb specialist... It's a booming industry. Heh."

"Two Kentucky psychology majors were walking through the campus. ""Do you consider a 1441.Q. high?"" ""Yes!"" ""For the whole basketball team?"""

"Where was Timmy when the bomb fell? Everywhere."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Silent."

"[pulled over] COP 1: any drugs or alcohol in the car? ME: no COP 2: told you he was a nerd ME: nuh uh I have so much drugs COP 1: lol gotcha"

"If you say ""no ifs, ands, or buts"", then get ready for a shitload of ""shoulds"", ""as well as"", and ""howevers""."