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Joke of the Day
"My wife is gorgeous, selfless, amazing, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type."
Next Joke
"I was playing with my new toaster in the bathtub today when I read the warning label and it said not to. I was shocked."
"What do white girls drink from? [OC] Muggs!"
"Why doesn't George RR Martin use twitter? Because he killed all 144 characters -stolen from /r/gameofthrones"
"Husband: Honey I bought the new Gold Olympic Condoms... Wfie: Why not Silver and come second for a change...?"
"Stop changing your profile picture in a desperate attempt to get compliments."
"I showed up at Disney headquarters uninvited I said I was there for a Rogue One cameo That's how I learned the security guards have Tasers"
"""Because Fuck you, that's why!"" is a perfectly legitimate response to any question."
"Welcome to the first annual hunger games America. Thank you to all the married cousins that voted for president snow."
"In Iran, people are afraid of spiders... But in Iraq, no phobia"