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Joke of the Day

"The U.S. has more prisons than degree-granting colleges. How absurd. To fix that, we should merge some prisons and split up some colleges."

"The cashier told me to have a good New Year like my purchase of oven cleaner and frozen pizza suggests anything else."

"What does a worm do in a cornfield? It goes in one ear and out the other"

"When someone offers me constructive criticism, it's clear they've mistaken me for someone else."

"David Copperfield's fed up of performing the old trap-door trick... It's just a stage he's going through."

"Here's what I'd like for my birthday: Everyone in the world, chewing with their mouths closed for the remainder of my life."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes."

"How was it possible that the three bears had porridge all at different temperatures? Someone is lying."

"Pregnant Kim Kardashian is moaning in a magazine, ""Nothing looks good on me"" I disagree. A grand piano dropped from a considerable height would."

"Dear math, stop telling me to find your X Their not coming back, grow up and solve your own problems"