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Joke of the Day

"Here's what I'd like for my birthday: Everyone in the world, chewing with their mouths closed for the remainder of my life."

"""you create beauty with your soul and personality! and also with not being fat and with using this make up."" - women's magazines"

"My wife and I got into an argument. And now I'm gonna do these dishes so hard."

"What was the slogan for the cross-dresser's party? Eat, drink, and be Mary."

"I'd like to have a child one day. Two days, tops."

"Whats the best part of living in Switzerland? Im not too sure either but the flags a big plus."

"I'm at my most Liam Neeson when my food is missing from the employee fridge."

"""I hate being half bicycle, half motorcycle"" he moped"

"I just discovered my new room mate is secretly a hard core racist and i wonder if should report him to the police. The dude takes part in illegal high speed car races at midnight"

"How do you make holy water You stab it with a knife over and over"