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Joke of the Day

"What is Vladimir's computer always doing? ComPutin"

"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again"

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."

"I've had to take a second job working in a bakery. I knead the dough."

"Can someone help me find some videos of Al Gore dancing? I'm trying to solve a Rubik's cube and a friend told me that using Al Gore Rhythms could help."

"I used to be into sadism, necrophilia, and bestiality... ...but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse."

"[On The Cross] Jesus:""Father, forgive them, fore they know no-"" Voice from the crowd:""DO THE WINE TRICK"""

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. You also miss 100% of the shots you do take because you suck at basketball."

"People who use that snobby pronunciation of ""vase"" make me want to punch them in the foz."

"The ladies in my knitting club think it's hilarious when I greet them by saying, ""Sup, my knittas?!"""