17419

Joke of the Day

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."

"What do Bud Light and having sex in a canoe have in common? They're both fucking close to water."

"I got a call from Egypt today. They tried to get me involved in a pyramid scheme. (Credit to my wife for this one)"

"I'm never drinking & driving again because the last time, it was a disaster. I lost control and ended up driving to a Robin Thicke concert."

"How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten - one to hold the light bulb and nine to drink until the room spins! Happy St. Patrick's day!"

"Double Joke Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. ---------------------------------- ""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Not Sally!"""

"I was asked on a biology test ""what is most commonly found in cells"" Black people was the wrong answer..."

"Thanks to home security commercials, I am now terrified of middle aged white men."

"[NSFW] What do snakes and condoms have in common? I don't fuck with either of them."

"There are 3 types of people in this world People who can't count and people who can."