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Joke of the Day

"My new flesh-light is dishwasher safe! Not sure why my roommates are opposed to it?"

"My wife is an angel. All my friends are jealous because their wives are still alive."

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was out standing in his field."

"Did you hear what happened to the fly on the toilet seat? He got pissed off."

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex will make your day, but anal sex will make your hole weak."

"I was going to tell a suicide bomber joke, but I feel that it would just blow up in my face."

"Paddy says, ""Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador."" ""Bugger that!"" says Mick. ""Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"""

"What do you call a 6 feet tall circle that recently got his diploma from college? A Graduated cylinder."

"dishes laundry vacuuming dusting me *Things that won't get done today."

"What?s orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot"