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Joke of the Day

"A horror movie where the girl in the woods actually outruns the mutated chainsaw murderer, then it shows him sadly limping back to his car."

"What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A-flat miner"

"What did the Mexican fireman name his children? Jose and Hose B"

"How do you fit an elephant in the subway? (x-post) You take the 'S' out of sub, and the 'F' out of way."

"My girlfriend just told me she was moving away to either Cleveland or Tulsa... All I could think to say was, ""OH. OK."""

"Police nearly apprehended a drug dealer selling cocaine in a tobacco store. They were close, but no cigar."

"There once was a man, who on reddit Made a point but someone had just said it. So lets all raise a toast, To the amazing shitpost Where without them then we would forget it!"

"No thanks, Party Casino; if I wanted to gamble when watching porn, I'd start the video with the volume on full and my door wide open."

"How many Ukrainians does it take to screw a lightbulb? You don't need to, they glow in the dark."

"I fainted at an Indian restaurant when I found out that R.E.M had split up That's me in the korma."