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Joke of the Day

"Wife: DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS? Husband: ? *Wife storms out room* Husband: Happy Valsenbirthery?!"

"A SHIT JOKE.... Two flies are sitting on a shit. One farted and the other one said ""Do you mind ? I'm eating here....."

"MURDERER: [looking for me] You better of hidden well or you're dead ME: [under bed, tears in my eyes] It's better HAVE"

"*Turns up ""Eye of the Tiger""* *air boxes* *jumps imaginary rope* *takes awesome nap* *crowned World Nap Champion third day in a row*"

"I used to be addicted to deli sandwiches ...but I quit cold turkey"

"What did the penis say to the condom??? Cover me, I'm going in"

"A man enters a store and says: ""15 litres of wine please."" ""Did you bring a container for this?"" ""You're speaking to it."""

"Why did Native Americans stop sharing peace-pipes with settlers? They noticed the settlers were always blowing smoke out their ass."

"Why does a one legged man make a terrible therapist? Because he has less understanding."

"What do woman and KFC have in common After the breast and the thigh there is nothing left but a greasy box to stick your bone in."