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Joke of the Day

"That kid looks like me. Somebody should warn him."

"At the Republican convention they kept telling everyone to stop with the Bush-bashing... Who are they to tell me what I can and can't do in the bedroom!?"

"What is the difference between a camel and a college student? Camel can go days without drinking!"

"I told my psychiatrist that I have been hearing voices. He told me that I don't have a psychiatrist."

"The only highlight of a brutal moving day: Wife: ""That's way too big to fit in the back door."" 4 people in unison: ""That's what she said!"""

"My girlfriend has been waiting for me to finish my book about old clocks for ages. When I finally gave it to her, all she said was ""It's about time!?"""

"Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind someone on a stationary bike and pretend you're angrily chasing them."

"Nope. Not gonna follow anyone whose name is upside down. I got enough problems."

"I almost had a threesome once. I only needed two more people."

"why are black people so tall? because their knee grows"