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Joke of the Day

"""Mommy, I don't want to see grandma today!"" ""Shut up and keep digging."""

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"WARNING: There's an email going round... ...offering Processed Pork, Gelatin, and Salt in a Can. If you get this email, DO NOT OPEN IT. It's spam!"
"Why couldn't the octopus take off her bra? It had suction cups."
"A boy came home with a C+ in music. He said with great vigor, ""I got an A-"""
"Do they make a Rosetta Stone for women's moods yet?"
"Windows 10 rollout"
"Trust me, I'm a liar. Lawyer, I meant lawyer."
"What's the most difficult thing about roller-blading? Telling your parents that you are a faggot!"
"""There are nine holes on a chair. A man sat and farted. Which hole did the fart go through?"" The asshole."
"How did the Jewish mother offer to help her son meet a nice Jewish girl? She offered to pay for half of his J-date membership."