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Joke of the Day

"[time travels to 1941 Berlin to kill Hitler] Damn I should've learned German [looks down at American flag bodysuit] This was also a bad idea"

"What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window? ""Looks like rein dear"""

"Paddy and Murphy walk into a bar... Hand in hand"

"What do you get if you cross a dick with a potato? A dictator."

"The weather data was unclear."

"What is Jesus's go-to pickup line? Would you like me to show you what it feels like to get nailed?"

"4-year-old: What do you want for your birthday? Me: You could get me a ""world's best dad"" mug. 4: You told me not to lie."

"Did anyone hear about the Grizzly who was sick of giving birth to naked cubs? She could barely bear to bear bare bare bears."

"Where do poor meatballs live? the spaghetto"

"Where is the most conflict in a loaf of bread? The middle yeast"