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Joke of the Day

"Way too young My friend just updated his status to ""I love my girlfriend <3"". I always knew he liked them young, but that is fucking ridiculous."

"Shouting ""wahoo"" instead of ""woo-hoo"" so everyone in this bar knows that I'm into fun AND sport fishing."

"I'm sick and tired of all the hipsters on /r/Gifs.. They're always saying things like.. ""The video was better""."

"Why should Ray Charles be a psychologist? Because he feels for everyone."

"The only 'B' word you should ever call a woman is ""beautiful""... ...because bitches love it when you call them ""beautiful"""

"If I was on death row I'd request my own heart as my last meal. But they wouldn't be able to extract it til they killed me: Catch 22. I walk"

"What do you call a blood vessel with a carrot jammed into it? A carroted artery."

"I hate it when you buy a packet of M&Ms And it's full of W's."

"What does an Asian man do during an erection? Vote."

"What do you say if you're testing a new firearm? ""I'll take a shot"""