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Joke of the Day

"ISIS is taking back territory after a surprise turn of events. Their new partnership with Samsung is quickly paying off"

"Sometimes I make myself feel important by thinking in a British accent."

"Batman doesn't kill. Wayne Enterprises is a defense contractor. Guy is conflicted about the wrong things."

"Sorry my diet made me slap the oreo out of your toddler's hand and scream ""NOT TODAY SATAN!"""

"NEWSFLASH - Greece/Euro Announcement The EU has just announced that with immediate effect all Euro notes will be printed on Greece-proof paper"

"Me: Sit. Dog: (confused dog look) Me: Stay! Dog: (continues packing suitcase)"

"Oh man, I just got back from the most awesome campground orgy. It was in tents."

"So, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, right? I guess that's when the books started getting *dead Sirius*"

"How do you make a dog meow? Put him in a wood chipper and listen to him go ""meeeeowwww""."

"Why did the French chef kill himself? He lost the huile d'olive"