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Joke of the Day

"So I saw Cuba Gooding Jr. at my local Walmart He was comparing Old Spice Sport to Old Spice Original Scent when I slapped those bottles out of his hand and told him, ""No soap, Radio."""

"New Coworker: So do you have any kids? Me: Yeah, one too many New Coworker: Haha, oh yeah? How many do you have? Me: One"

"Do you know whats really odd? Numbers not divisible by 2."

"What did the two narwhals say at midnight? Nothing, they just baconed."

"Yo mama, so fat.... that when she walked outside to get the mail, it measured on the Richter Scale."

"My friend told me I don't understand irony.. ...Which is ironic because we were playing checkers."

"kanye west slowly pacing around the room to avoid a bee but insisting that he's not scared of it"

"I jerk off roughly once a day. I try to be a little more loving and gentle the other 2-3."

"Why couldn't the bike stand up? It was too tired."

"[Michael Cera melting like a slug because there's too much salt on his fries]"