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Joke of the Day

"Wizards of the Coast: Wizards of the Coast, and this is where the magic happens."

"Q: Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said: ""Don't Walk."""

"War is never the answer. Unless the question is ""What's never the answer?"""

"I love when I'm walking closely behind a girl and she starts to speed walk away. It's like she knew I wanted to race all along."

"Saw this advert in a window... It said ""television for sale,$1,volume stuck on full"".I thought,""I can't turn that down"""

"Are we stopping for ALL pedestrians now? I can understand kids & the elderly. But everyone else should be able to dodge cars."

"Is your refrigerator running? Because if so I'll probably vote for it."

"A girl once asked me if she was fat I told her that she was beautiful. In fact, she could model in a summer swimsuit catalog if she wanted. I hear they're casting for beach balls."

"What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed? Isaac Newton died a virgin."

"ad for letuce: do u- hey do u ever wish u coud eat water"