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Joke of the Day

"Saw this advert in a window... It said ""television for sale,$1,volume stuck on full"".I thought,""I can't turn that down"""

"What did the first lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See you next month!"

"My girlfriend told me she wanted to wake up to Oral I don't know what she expected but it sure as hell wasn't a dick in her mouth"

"My son is a star mathlete. He has developed a geometric formula for fitting his body perfectly into a locker."

"Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard? Because he's no good at shaving."

"When is 99 greater than 100? When entered on a microwave."

"Food trucks were invented by a guy who really loved fast food but hated how cheap it was & how he didn't have to stand in line forever."

"Why are DJ's called 'radio personalities' ? Because if they had the looks they'd be on TV."

"How is Valve like Uranium-238? By the time they get to the third Half Life 13.5 Billion years will have passed."

"How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb must want to change."