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Joke of the Day

"I love when I'm walking closely behind a girl and she starts to speed walk away. It's like she knew I wanted to race all along."

"Wife: Where are you going? Me: I'm wearing my robe and boxer briefs so obviously I'm off to fight crime"

"What is the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? Hockey players shower after three periods.."

"Why can't your hear a pteradactyl go to the toilet? Because the p is silent."

"If I was a gay dude, I'd be all like ""Not tonight, I had Taco Bell for lunch."""

"A woman told me I seem like I ""need a blowjob,"" which has all the insight of a psychic telling a crowd ""someone here has lost a loved one."""

"Hard to watch The Flintstones these days... What with their drive-in movie theatres and caveman bowling alleys, it just feels so dated..."

"Why does Africa never win Olympics Because it's a continent, You idiot"

"What did Disney call their remake of Dante's Inferno? 101 damnations"

"I don't think my inner child is ever moving out."