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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed? Isaac Newton died a virgin."

"Having a one night stand with a beautiful woman (NSFW) and she says, ""Give me 9 inches and hurt me."" So I fucked her 3 times and I slapped her."

"Toast should never pick a fight with me because I eat toast for breakfast."

"Pretty cool how Ryan Gosling's dad was Ryan Goose."

"Food bank Im that poor i cant even get help from the food bank, they said I'm 2 tins of Tomatoes and a banana overdrawn."

"Wife: [eats hotdog, spills mustard & relish on her blouse] Me: HELLO TEMPTRESS"

"What do you call an African American wife who knows where her husband is at all time? A Jailbait."

"What does Waka flocka order at a Chinese restaurant? BAO BAO BAO BAO"

"When someone says ""surprise me"", I immediately drop my pants and start singing its raining men."

"I can't feel my face when I'm with you, but I love it. Doctor: This is your third Botox appointment. That wasn't even funny the first time."