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Joke of the Day

"I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. 98 of them said, ""How the hell did you get in here?"""

"I told a riddle to a double amputee once Boy did it leave him stumped"

"I hate how guys with tiny penises try to overcompensate with flashy cars. You're not fooling anyone, ambulance drivers!!"

"I love the smell of my F5 key It's so refreshing"

"""Here kitty, kitty, kitty"" - me, drunk, about to get bit by a raccoon"

"What do you hear when Bill Cosby walks into the room? (Zzzzip)"

"did you hear about the new tv crime drama? Criminal Mastermimes: the Silent Killers"

"My girlfriend was sucking my dick...... My girlfriend was sucking my dick when she took it out of her mouth and said ""I don't really like the way dicks look."" I said ""Hmmm, it must be about taste"""

"Q: How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb? A: We'll never know, Tesla was murdered."

"18 goes into 40 more than 40 goes into 18 ( ~ )"