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Joke of the Day

"A girl once asked me if she was fat I told her that she was beautiful. In fact, she could model in a summer swimsuit catalog if she wanted. I hear they're casting for beach balls."

"I just bough t a new pair of sunglasses... So anytime I make a bad pun, I'm gonna put them on and *puts on sunglasses* Look cool."

"Big sunglasses are an ugly girl's best friend."

"I farted while lifting a heavy object today. It was very embarrassing. I had to apologise to the man at the next urinal."

"If someone calls you fat... Just turn the other chin."

"What motivated Hercules to face off against Cerberus? Alcmene triple-dog-dared him."

"Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,... why don't you ever smile in my pictures?"

"So there's a guy with a speech impediment.... It's funny because his life is hard, and he was relentlessly ridiculed in grade school."

"A moment of silence for the fat friend in a group of girls who can't jump high enough to be in the ""mid air"" beach picture :("

"I thought she asked if I was interested in an orgy. Turns out she really said ""4G."" My apologies to the lady at the Verizon kiosk."