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Joke of the Day

"My son on the morning of his prom: ""Well, it just occurred to me that I paid $130 to go to my school at night."""

"You say ""potato"", I say ""This isn't working. I think we are unhealthy together and you scare the shit out of me. Keep the cat. He hates me."""

"(Neighbor, curious): What's wrong with little Timmy? (Mom, sad): He went to Jared."

"What do you call a 12 year old protein? A pretein"

"I have insomnia. I have insomnia My doctor says it's very common and that I shouldn't lose any sleep over it."

"Knock knock. Whose there? Doctor. Doctor who? Oh. You watch that show too?"

"Help! I need funny jokes for a 9 year is at camp! Know any kid jokes that are actually funny? Please tell me what they are"

"How do you go about picking up a nice Jewish girl? With a broom and a dustpan."

"*Knock knock* ""Who's there?"" ""Madame."" ""Madame who?"" Madame foots stuck in the door."

"What did the mohel bring to the BBQ potluck? His homemade Bris-kit."