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Joke of the Day

"To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car."

"Why did the church hire a prostitute? Her resume said ""missionary position"""

"I thought I had an STD once... turned out it was just carpal tunnel."

"How did Canada get its name? They had a bag of letters, and one person announced as he picked each letter out "" 'C', eh, 'N', eh, 'D', eh""."

"I need jokes that people can enjoy over and over again."

"Tourettes What do we want? A cure for tourettes! When do we want it? Cunt!"

"Why do men masturbate? It's sex with someone they love."

"At breakfast this morning, my wife said she's leaving me because of my obsession with Twitter. I nearly choked on my #Brown"

"I honestly respect reality show people for the sole fact they can do their interviews weeks later and speak as if it's presently happening"

"Why do women have boobs? So ya got something to look at when yah talkin' to em'! So ya got something to look at when yah talkin' to em'! So ya got... Thanks Family Guy."