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Joke of the Day

"When I go to a restaurant, I stare at the menu for 10 minutes, and then order the exact same thing I did the last 20 times I've been there."

"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a car. The car crashes. Who survived? *America.*"

"A magician says to his wife to 'Pick a card. Any card.' She takes his credit card and leaves."

"What did Mr. Orange say to Anna Banana when she asked what his first name was in rhyme world? Fuck off"

"My mom made some french fries for you guys... but you were dicks about it because they were potato quality."

"What's the difference between a Priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on a boys face until he's 13"

"1. Hide babies all over house. 2. If a kid asks, ""Where do babies come from?"" laugh, ""Where DON'T they come from!"" and open every cabinet."

"Why does Africa never win Olympics Because it's a continent, You idiot"

"My penis died. Can I bury it in your vagina?"

"I met a really unfriendly Christian outside the church the other day. Told me to call him Mr Bale and shut the fuck up during filming."