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Joke of the Day

"Two fish in a tank. One says to the other.... ""You know how to drive this thing?"""

"Me: I've had this for 3 weeks & I'm still single! HomeDepot Clerk: ma'am, a stud finder is for the beams in your wall Me: that was unclear"

"What did the Australian grandmaster say to the banker, when asked what he wanted to exchange? Check, mate!"

"If you don't like being a door mat....then get off the floor"

"Good job I am very surprised that no one has made a 9/11 joke. I would of thought that 9 times out of 11 that I would see one."

"Hear the one about the deaf man who went fishing? Neither did he."

"What do you call a gorilla in water? Harambait."

"Gave up on my dream of being a murderer a long time ago. I leave long hair everywhere & everyone knows its mine without doing a DNA test."

"A man walks in to a library and asks for a book on Amnesia. The librarian replies, ""fuck off, you'll forget to bring it back"" To which the man replies, ""bring what back?"""

"Leonardo: Let's go rescue April!! Donatello: Let's do it! Raphael: Bodacious!! Michelangelo: Totally!! Vincent: *cuts off ear* give her this"