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Joke of the Day

"[school teacher job interview] Can I ask you some questions? I don't know CAN you? haha impressive [stands] welcome aboard!"

"What were the last two pizzas delivered to the world trade centers? Two large planes"

"I was just flipping through a pictorial of Betty White on one of those celebrity sites... And I realized it was Lindsey Lohan. True Story."

"Confucius say, ""Happy wife lead to soft hands... Unhappy wife lead to softer hands."""

"Militant feminists: I take my hat off to them. They don't like that."

"Did you hear about the Finn who spent a fortune building a storm cellar in case there was an earthquake."

"What I buy from a tea shop I sigh everytime."

"What frequency do police radios operate on? 100 niggahurts"

"Me: 911? My wife and I have been in an accident and she hit the windshield! 911: How's her head? Me: Her sister's better."

"Zombies eat brains, right? Then you're good. *NOTE: Heard this from a couple of friends*"