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Joke of the Day
"Some people age like wine, others age like milk."
Next Joke
"Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 72 seconds, Poor bastard."
"You're the only one who understands me, last remaining sleeve of Oreo cookies."
"[boss calls me to office] We found a lot of disgusting porn on your computer. Thats a matter of opinion. Some may say it's the right amount."
"What do you call a fake noodle? an impasta."
"Two artists had an art contest... It ended in a draw"
"Twitter is an amazing source of useful information, the way a haystack is an amazing source of needles."
"My wife looked different today then it dawned on me. Her mouth was closed..."
"George H.W. Bush, age 90, went skydiving yesterday. I'm 45 & I strained my hamstring getting out of my car."
"Lucy plans elaborate jewel heist. Lucy dons cat burglar suit to conceal identity. Lucy pulls off heist. Lucy in disguise with diamonds."