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Joke of the Day

"My wife looked different today then it dawned on me. Her mouth was closed..."

"There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live."

"John! Do you see that guy over there?? John : Yeah? Peter : He is gay John : oh....really ?? How do you know that??? Peter : His dick tastes like poop"

"What did the bed say to the sleepy man? ""I want you inside me"""

"Cop- Do you know why I pulled you over? Me- Because I fucked your mom? Cop- Get out of the car! Me- Wait! Don't I get another guess?"

"If you ever want to catch a white person, just set a table outside a restaurant in the summertime."

"Your Honor it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow! Was it a Jersey cow? I don't know I didn't see her license plate!"

"[getting fired from NASA] Is it because I kept saying ""Technically we're already in space?"""

"What is my ex girlfriend's favorite hands on day in math class? Manipulatives. god i'm so lonely"

"BOVINE HIJINX Q; What do cows do for fun? A: They go to the moo-vies!"