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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who wears as many watches as he can, while trying to collect every type? He has way too much time on his hands."

"So glad the new phone book arrived, because I hate texting the wrong number from the rotary phone in my Ford Model T."

"What do you call an orang-utan which has been in the sun for too long? An OranguTAN!"

"Australians don't have any problems with gender pronouns... Because we call everyone cunt."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? ten-tickles"

"Did you hear about the Buddhist that refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication"

"Make the little things count... teach midgets arithmetic."

"Did you know diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans!"

"Windows: ""You may be the victim of software counterfeiting"" no Microsoft,it is you who is the victim of software counterfeiting here, not I"

"Scientist: we've finally taught a dog Morse Code Dog: [taps paw] Me: what did it say? Scientist: ""woof"""