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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my Poke Stops. Ready to go again in 5 minutes."

"What's 20 feet long and smells like piss? It's a line dance at the old folks home..."

"Blood is Thicker than water, but maple syrup is Thicker than blood. Therefore, pancakes are more important than family."

"sometimes i get frustrated because u cant put numbers in caps 12 am I screaming? you'll never know"

"Apparently telling the principal that ""it's not cheating, it's cooperative learning"" was the wrong thing to say."

"If your dog & your baby are fighting, it's important to leave them to it so that a pack leader can be established."

"What was Jesus's favorite band? Nine Inch Nails."

"Everybody thinks I am a psychopath... but I don't care what they think."

"Have you seen Jesus's abs?!! He must be doing that Cross-Fit workout!"

"You probably get this a lot but... *punches you in the face*"