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Joke of the Day

"If your dog & your baby are fighting, it's important to leave them to it so that a pack leader can be established."

"Guys who say there's a party in their pants are probably referring to search parties."

"Yo mamma's so old that... ...back in her day, old spice was just called spice!"

"*interrupts planning of heist* Where are we going for dinner after the robbery"

"My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"I always check my smoke alarms to make sure they're working. I call it ""cooking"""

"How many people work in the Lada factory? Two. One to cut and one to glue"

"When the food packaging says ""serves 3 - 4 people The fat controller laughed ""you are wrong"""

"Did you hear about the guy that went to court over a stolen bag? It was a brief case."

"The fastest way to get to the front of the line at Starbucks is just to tell everyone you saw Adele outside."