88822

Joke of the Day

"At a bathroom line. ''Can I go before you? I really need to number two'' ''No, I was here before you and I need to go as well''. ''I swear I need to go more than you''. ''You're so full of shit''."

"I have sex daily. I mean dyslexia."

"I heard Jay-Z and Doc Brown were recording a rap album together. They're going to call it ""Jigga-Watt"""

"I'm not saying I hate you, I'm just saying that if you got hit by a bus, I would be driving that bus."

"I asked my doctor ""Just how bad is my halitosis?"" ""Pretty fucking bad,"" he replied, hanging up the phone."

"Mark Ruffalo Went into a Job Interview The interviewer asked ""What's your strong suit?"" ""Oh, you know, the Hulk costume."""

"""What do you do in your free time? "" ""I stalk. "" ""Really? I go swimming and for long hikes"" ""I know.""."

"Not sure if my bed is calling me or if its the girl I left handcuffed all day"

"Why are eggs so good at humor? Because they have running yolks."

"I was going to get a sex change. But I couldn't quite pull it off."