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Joke of the Day

"I'm having a hard time deciding which pillow I should buy. I'm going to sleep on it."

"What kind of bees give milk? Boobies."

"My Ex is married now with a baby. What kind of idiot marries a baby?"

"I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I'm certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake."

"Interview: ""What's your greatest weakness?"" *I look at my watch then lean in* How much time do you have?"

"If I had a dollar for every woman that thought I was ugly... Eventually they wouldn't think I was ugly."

"You know why it'd called modern jazz right? No? It's because ""A peace if crap was already taken."""

"I wanted to learn about amputees on Wikipedia But I didn't learn much, because the article was a stub."

"your Lonely Score is the maximum number of forks a takeout place has given you for your single person food order. my score is 4"

"Who can beat any burger at golf? Any LINKS sausage!"