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Joke of the Day
"My Ex is married now with a baby. What kind of idiot marries a baby?"
Next Joke
"I had a winning lottery ticket but I couldn't cash it in before it expired and now I get nothing. I am *such* a Democrat."
"So I want to start a business of manufacturing ATM machines... .... I hope it pays off"
"Wrong number Some guy keeps texting ""stand and deliver"" to me. I keep telling him he's got the wrong number, but he's adamant"
"What do you call a lesbian ice cream sandwich? A Klondyke bar."
"Ugh, I'm still writing 2009 on all my ransom notes"
"A DJ that's a cat! So cute! But you know what's not cute? *clicks to next slide* Our reliance on rapidly depleting fossil fuels."
"Him: 'Sorry Mr Hill, no last minute call from the Governor. Any last words?' Me: -whimpering 'She squeezed the toothpaste from the middle'"
"Is it solipsistic in here? or is it just me?"
"I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist."