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Joke of the Day
"I once met this guy who was so creepy that his van had a basement."
Next Joke
"What's a pirate's favorite amino acid? Aaaaaaaarrrrrginine...."
"In Dog Beers, I've only had one."
"What do you get when you mix a fly, a snake head, and Mickey Mouse? The hell out of there."
"What's a gothic persons blood made of? Emoglobin"
"Homeless guy walking by this bar patio looked at me and said ""I'm your future,"" and I was like ""Sweet, we have a cool beard."""
"I didn't let my st-st-stutter stop me from achieving my dream career I'm a door-to-door salesman. I sell ""No Soliciting"" signs. The more I st-st-stutter the more I seem to sell."
"Coworker: You look tired. Did you not get enough sleep last night? Me: Nope. Slept great! But thanks for telling me I look like shit."
"Hey other men: I'm tweeting this from your mom's phone. The implication being that she's sexually promiscuous: a big insult in our culture."
"One of my employees took 6 months off work to get in touch with his inner child... ... he came crawling back"