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Joke of the Day

"I didn't let my st-st-stutter stop me from achieving my dream career I'm a door-to-door salesman. I sell ""No Soliciting"" signs. The more I st-st-stutter the more I seem to sell."

"Home is where you don't feel the need to wipe the toilet seat After you've pissed all over it."

"I finally mustard up the courage to tell my gf how I felt about her excessive sausage consumption Things took a turn for the wurst"

"I hate it when people call me contrary. I am *not* contrary!"

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped."

"I need a bad ass dress for Friday night. Anybody know where I can find a Forever 41?"

"There was a girl in my school with breasts on her back. She wasn't much to look at, but she never missed a slow dance."

"A blonde and a burnette are on opposite sides of a river... The burnette yells to the blonde ""how do I get to the other side?"" The blonde yells back ""you are on the other side!"""

"Why is revenge a dish best served cold? Because it's just-ice"

"What cheese is the most religious? Swiss cheese! (it's the most hole-y)"