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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil. An explanation please?"

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver."

"The John Birch Society wants American schools to ban protractors. Because a protractor marks angles."

"My phone just filmed a 6 hour documentary about life inside my pocket"

"Bernie Sanders is such a socialist... ...he gave Hillary Clinton half the votes in Iowa."

"ME: OMG I CAN'T BREATHE I ATE WAY TOO MUCH CALL A DOCTOR HER: do you want dessert? ME: ok, but just a small slice."

"A man with pica walks into a bar... ...and orders a drink on rocks. Hahahaha! Smart people jokes are the best!"

"Kevin Ware's leg Unfortunately Kevin Ware and his leg did not display the same structure and elasticity as his brother Tupper"

"I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!"

"Why did the mobster buy a planner? So he could organize his crime"