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Joke of the Day

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver."

"What did Hannibal Lecter say when he met a sexy Black Panther at a cannibal convention? I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers."

"If there is a God, he created balls and wanted them to look like that, so that's weird."

"What did Moses say when Isaiah told him the levy had burst? God Dam It!"

"I was sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling my boxers off when... ...my wife said, ""You spoil those dogs."""

"Donald Trump said he thinks we made the right decision to leave the EU. This confirms that we absolutely did not make the right decision."

"Why was the penguin banned from the Winter Olympics? He was caught taking Polaroids."

"Got into a car accident with a mobile library before. I'm perfectly fine, but the police really threw the book at me."

"I have somewhere around 300 karma I intend to drop it to 0 by having human-like opinions on the wrong subreddits"

"Just realized after two years that my boss is actually a grapefruit covered in ramen noodles with peanut eyes. Still very afraid of him."