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Joke of the Day

"The John Birch Society wants American schools to ban protractors. Because a protractor marks angles."

"How do you make sure you have the best space party for your kid? You planet early."

"Apparently its true. Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard."

"And the Lord said onto John, ""Come forth and you shall receive eternal life"" But john came fifth and won a toaster"

"I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am."

"An Islamic terrorist walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Good evening, sir! Would you like some alcohol?"" The terrorist replies, ""Yes, Allah-t of it!"""

"how did I escape iraq iran"

"A helicopter crashed on a graveyard Reports says over 500 dead."

"It just occurred to me Trump's inauguration was cloudy. I guess the sun was another big star that refused to show."

"What state did the programmer start her road trip in? Maine"