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Joke of the Day

"2 men knock on an Essex girls door. ""Hello love how would you like double glazing?"",they ask. ""Oh go on then"", she replies falling to her knees, ""just not in my eyes"""

Next Joke
 
"Have you heard about the man with five penises? His underwear fit like a glove."
"I asked my dad if he liked his haircut... He said he didn't at first but it's growing on him."
"Hype for the Major release of Star Wars vii. I hope it hasn't diminished in quality."
"If I give my dog a toy that doesn't make an unbearably annoying noise she looks at me like I have no clue how to do anything right in life."
"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb...? ...to get to the other side"
"Today I fucked up Now she's pregnant :/"
"I like my women like I like my bikes. Chained up and locked down in my garage."
"Instead of ""the John"" I decided to start calling my bathroom ""the Jim"" I needed to workout more. Now first thing in the morning I always go to the Jim!"
"How do you call a man with a rabbit up his bum? A bad magician"