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Joke of the Day

"2 men knock on an Essex girls door. ""Hello love how would you like double glazing?"",they ask. ""Oh go on then"", she replies falling to her knees, ""just not in my eyes"""

Next Joke
 
"I'm still waiting for my date from last summer to come back from the restaurant's bathroom... I hope everything is ok."
"How to beat depression: 1) Talk to someone 2) When that person says ""just cheer up,"" beat that person with a baseball bat."
"Joke of The Day A new Student came to the class. After telling the rest of the Children his name, the teacher asked, ""what does your Father do""? . . . . . . Student :"" Whatever Mom Says"""
"[I see a cute girl reading a novel] ""Hi there. I couldn't help but notice-"" *points at book* ""That you support the murder of trees."""
"What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? [well ..](/s""The pizza doesn't scream when it's in the oven"")"
"Call-in sick every morning to somewhere you don't work"
"The string of expletives that poured from my mouth when I woke up at 3 pm to realize my alarm didn't go off was pure smut poetry"
"Best Buy's MLK Day sale Half off all black speakers, today only"
"Why do pencils shave? To look sharp"