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Joke of the Day

"I just join reddit and suddenly discover that my name is is on the front page! ^so ^upvotes. much karma. ^^^wow."

"Casper The Friendly Ghost never haunted my house. All I got was his stupid cousin, Murray The Constipated Poltergeist."

"[Takes dog to park] *waits for romantic comedy to begin"

"what is it about suicide bomber and sperm they both come out bursting"

"All I'm saying is that the Care Bears gave me some very unrealistic expectations."

"You know what I dread? The long hair of Jamaicans"

"What is Hitler's favorite drink? concentrated jews"

"Woman: When my husband died... ...his dying wish was to be liquidised into perfume. Friend: It's so sad that he's gone. Woman: Well he's still here in essence."

"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him."

"If you slap a christian girl on the ass... Would she turn the other cheek?"