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Joke of the Day

"If the opposite of Pro is Con... What's the opposite of Progress?"

"How can you spot a Jewish Pedofile? He's the guy in the creepy van rolling up to kids and asking ""Hey kids, you want to buy some candy?"""

"Oh, did my tweet insulting a celebrity upset you? Maybe you should tell them about it the next time you guys hang out."

"My girlfriend asked if I could play wonderwall on the guitar. I said ""maybe""."

"I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist."

"People say that it's unethical to eat meat But I feel good every time I eat bacon and remember that I've taken a pig that was living a squalid and miserable life and sent it to heaven."

"This is a really offensive football joke... So the defense won't get it."

"So Donald Trump walks into the oval office as the 45th president of the U.S. Title"

"How does Darth Vader know what Luke is getting for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"What's the difference between an Irish Funeral and an Irish Wedding? One less drunk person."