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Joke of the Day

"World: Hey check out this sport we made called football. America: *sips beer* Check out this other sport I just made called football."

"What do you call a horny priest? A firm believer."

"I like my car how I like my life. Duty free."

"The first rule of relationships: You don't find out why someone was available until it's too late."

"I thought I felt a spider crawling on my neck. Now I have to pretend I was breakdancing at this bank."

"(Man) I'd like some cocaine please. (Drug Dealer) Is pepsicaine ok?"

"Knock knock Who's there? YOUR MOM'S VAGINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Where do Eggs keep their holidays pictures? In a photo albumen..."

"I was peeing in the pool the other day... The lifeguard yelled at me so loudly, I nearly fell in."

"How do you stop rape? **NSFW** Consent."