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Joke of the Day

"Vaginas are like weather. When it's wet, it's time to go inside"

"2 year old runs naked down the street. ""Awwwwwwwwwwwwww."" I run naked down the street. ""AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"""

"Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit."

"With all the talk of gender lately I realized the fastest way to turn a pussy into a dick Give it a gun and a badge"

"For once my family is going to have a Happy Thanksgiving. This year I'm stuffing the turkey with Prozac."

"Not impressed with the speed of the internet back in my day, I could open my bedroom window in the fall and get Chile."

"What's the difference between the US Election and sex? In sex it's fun to choose between a cunt and an asshole."

"What do crack addicts sing while caroling? All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!"

"This silence is far from golden... which reminds me. I need to shower."

"I just called the suicide hotline AND THEY DON'T THINK RUNNING OUT OF MAPLE SYRUP WHILE I'M EATING PANCAKES IS A REASON TO KILL MYSELFFFF!!!"