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Joke of the Day
"If breaking a mirror is seven years of bad luck. What would have to break to give you 18? a condom"
Next Joke
"Gonna pay my grandma $100 to slip ""Syrian Refugee 1 and 2"" onto the Thanksgiving seating chart to piss off my uncles."
"Meatloaf said: ""I would do anything for love, but I won't do that""... ...he means lose weight. -&y"
"*pulls fire alarm in apt building* *everyone runs outside* [Me on megaphone]IVE GATHERED U HERE B/C SOME OF U STILL HAVE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS UP"
"A man walks into a bar... ... he says ""ouch!"""
"Did you hear about the legless man who got his wheelchair taken away? He was floored."
"Only in America would people violently trample each other for discounts, exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have..."
"What idiot called it a rhyme book & not rapping paper"
"My resolution last year was to lose 25 lbs. Anyone know how I can lose 50lbs in an hour and fifteen minutes?"
"Challenge Only a Genius can say these four words, Four times Really fast without getting Tongue twisted. Eye , Yum , Stew , Peed"