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Joke of the Day

"Gonna pay my grandma $100 to slip ""Syrian Refugee 1 and 2"" onto the Thanksgiving seating chart to piss off my uncles."

"Sometimes you look at an ex and think maybe they're not so bad. And then they start to talk and remind you why you hate them."

"2016: Trump elected 2018: Border wall completed 2020: Mexico takes Gold, Silver & Bronze in Pole Vault at the Summer Olympics"

"My girlfriend wanted me to tease her so I was like ""alright fatty"""

"How do you get a Cambodian person to join you? Just shout ""Hey, Khmer!"""

"What's red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint!"

"I want to hold you till the end of time, or until I have to pee."

"What do you call a turtle who sleeps during the day and is awake at night? Nocturtle"

"What's the difference between a 6 year old and a 16 year old? Which hole they stick their finger in when no-one's looking."

"Have you heard of the turkish version of sudoku? It's called a pseudo-coup."